I know what you're up to, and because of that I've planted numerous explosives in your Stevenson, Washington facility.
I demand ten million dollars in exchange for safe retrieval of said devices.
You will be contacted on August 1st with the drop point.
P.S.: Resume available upon request.
Today, a different Unfiction poster reports on a change to Triton's auto-response to emails sent to them.
[Security Protocol T1987E] Temporary Security Measures
Due to a recent breach in security at our facility in Washington State Triton Enterprises has been required to engage a DoD level 4 security lock down.
This security protocol is a requirement for all Department of Defense contractors when a minor security violation has been detected.
Unfortunately due to the requirements of the lock down we must postpone all scheduled tours of our facility.
Please be patient as we clear up this minor problem. We apologize if this lock down impacts any orders you may have with us.
Once we are back online we will continue towards our goal of building the future one vision at a time.
If you need more information please contact me at anytime.